I never did the camp thing. I was, in so many words, a momma's girl. Docile. Homesick. Wimpy, as it were. My sister went to camp, and there they watched The Wizard of Oz and when she heard "There's no place like home", she cried, ran to the phone, and demanded that my mom come pick her up. I remember. I was not about to leave my comfort zone for swimming and canteens and tetherball and crafts and relationships. I just wasn't.
So in a couple weeks I'm doing the camp thing for the first time. Yeah, I'm 26, so homesickness shouldn't be a factor.
I met Matt Ralph while he was preaching at a church in Chew's Landing. He quoted Bob Dylan in his sermon, and I was sold. He's a journalist and he cares more about the human condition than anyone I've ever met, and is wise beyond his 27 years. We've kept in touch since then, and his family runs a Bible Camp in Southern New Jersey. When the proposition to help out at "Ralph Camp" came up, I jumped on it. So for the first time, I will be teaching a class to junior highers (ahh! hormones, pray for me)... and Matt suggested that I, in all my poetic, nature-y-ness (as he put it), teach a class that focuses on how we fit in to nature and God's creation. I feel a flashback to junior high right now, sans the spiral perm and BUM Equipment sweatshirt, fearing that I may not be cool enough. I may have to start watching MTv or something.
It's funny, with a junior high audience I feel lead to stress that each of us is fearfully and wonderfully made, He knew us before He formed us in the womb, He formed us in His own image, we are His beloved, He loves us with an agape love, etc. etc. And while I know these things, they are hard, almost impossible, for me to believe. It's one of Satan's biggest holds on me, and women in general, that our intrinsic worth depends on our extrinisic appearance. I have wrestled with it for a long time, but at 26, I am just beginning to believe that I am exactly who I am because that's the way God wanted me; baby face, Norwegian washwoman-esque, non size-2 body and all. I need to hear it, I need to believe it, just as much as these teenagers do.
I pray that the kids will have a blessed, dynamic, life-changing week at camp. I pray that I will feel God's presence in the nature of South Jersey (yes, it exists). And I am so elated that I'll be there with one of the most inspirational people I've ever met. That is worth the trip.
3 comments:
I hear ya, girl! I have yet to meet any woman who was honestly satisfied with her appearance and able to accept that we are not somehow deficient or lacking for not looking like models. Funny thing - they are are 6 billion people on Earth and only about 20 supermodels. Hmm. But what's that Ani Difranco line - "everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room"?? Something like that. We can't stop ourselves.
I pray for your time with these kids - that you can impart some of the cool wisdom that only comes with age and experience & that they can share with you some of that awe and wonder that seems to diminish in all of us the further we get from childhood. Yay for camp!
Mindy Lou -
Nice photo. You look like a serious artist type that is pondering the heavens.
Yeah, the appearance thing. I recommend a visit into a major metropolis where there is a wide range of looks and appearances. It seems in the suburban America that there is a certain conformist way. Which is a lie.
Nice blog. Seriously. I think that we need to get you and a few others who have this knack for writing to share it with others.
You have a gift.
Thanks, Craig. Don't even get me started on your gifts:). Are you back? I am leaving for camp tomorrow, for 10 days...and will be back in a large city (Philly) to appreciate all the said variations of beauty. About the writing thing, I love it, sometimes it's what I love most, and I want to pursue it but don't know how to go about that. In any event, thanks for the feedback, and I hope you have perfect weather on Sunday!
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